Thoughtful Thursday

Is There Danger in Play or More in its Absence? Part 2

So what would bring Gray to the conclusion that the connection between a reduction in play and the increase in psychopathology is not just correlation, but actually causation? 
The first point that is made in Gray’s article is the move from intrinsic motivation to extrinsic motivation.  Free play is purely intrinsically motivated.  Children play, explore, pretend, and build because they are driven by an internal sense of wonder and interest.  Conversely, many of the organized activities that have replaced children’s free play time over the years are linked to the extrinsic motivation of rewards, praise, or recognition.  Many of the activities are chosen and directed by grown-ups and are therefore generally predicated on their goals and objectives and the child often seeks to please the adults and their external standards for performance.

When children learn to care more about the judgments of others than their own internal drive, the result is often depression from not measuring up, or anxiety from the inability to control the perceptions of others.
Among his other reasons for supporting a causal relationship, Gray points out the role that play serves in building important decision-making skills, self-control, social skills, and emotional regulation.  Rough and tumble play, for example, while it is often restricted due to fears of injury, actually builds self-control as the implicit rules of “play fighting” include the fact that you can not actually hurt the other players — your friends.  This act of going to the line while holding back, requires a great deal of self-control while also recognizing and empathizing with the needs of others.

Social Play Makes Children Happy, and Its Absence Makes Them Unhappy
Perhaps it is the last reason Gray gives for the need for play that is most compelling.  “Social play makes children happy, and its absence makes them unhappy.”  It doesn’t take a degree in psychology to recognize that if one is deprived of that which makes them most happy, they are more vulnerable to diseases of unhappiness such as anxiety and depression.

In his book, Louv suggests that many symptoms of ADHD are caused by, or at least can be effectively treated by the amount of time children spend exploring and playing in nature.

In his conclusion, Peter Gray sums up our misdirected concern for our children:
“Somehow, as a society, we have come to the conclusion that to protect children from danger and to educate them, we must deprive them of the very activity that makes them happiest and place them for ever more hours in settings where they are more or less continually directed and evaluated by adults, settings almost designed to produce anxiety and depression. If we wish children to be happy and to grow up to become socially and emotionally fulfilled and competent adults, we must provide them, once again, with opportunities to spend many hours per day playing freely with friends.”

Certainly there is a place for an adequate amount of safety regulation.  Likewise, there is arguably a need for some degree of structure and adult direction.  But the theory that “if a little is good, a lot is better” is usually false, and no where does that seem to be more true than in the case of these “good things” that tend to push play from its prominent position in childhood.

We have to remember not to inadvertently trade these good things for the things that are best of all.

Posted by Angélica Pérez-Litwin in HOME LIFE, Parenting
Contributing Author - Amanda Morgan